Try harder, stop the weeping

Today’s Penny Arcade may long hold a place in my heart.  I’ve been feeling more like this lately - out of touch with the modern gamer, despite my assertion that I am, in fact, a gamer.  I’d say that I’ve been a gamer since I was 4 years old in 1981 and started playing Dungeon on the family’s Apple.

I just don’t know much longer I can do it.  I’ve accepted that out of the “next-generation” consoles, I will probably get the Wii and that’s about it.  Games like White Knight Story make me feel funny in special places, but I’ve gotten to the point where I’m looking at it and saying “OK, let’s get real.  $600 for the console, another $60-80 for the game, and the TV in your office isn’t even hi-def.  You’re insane.”

And I’m coming to accept that.  Emulation has been my saving grace.  I can now play Bard’s Tale until my eyes fall out on any platform in the house, and it doesn’t matter.  Amiga games?  You bet.  Apple 2?  Damn straight.  Feeling self-abusive and up to giving Wizardry 4 a try?  Hey, therapy is part of my medical package.

But what brought this on, you say?  I was looking at the minimum specs for Neverwinter Nights 2.  I may have been subvocalizing them as I read, but as I read them, I swear I could hear my game PC, and it was crying like a child in front of a puppy that had been smashed by a hammer.  It was bad.