General

I’m ashamed of myself for making that joke, but more ashamed if you actually get it.

What really surprises me is that I’m not terribly offended by the name this time. Windows Vista? Sure. It works, it sticks, it sounds good, and it even makes a reasonable play on words with the name. Not bad. The number system ran out of punch with Windows 2000 (really, where do you go from there? I hope my heirs beat the crap out of anyone using any 3000’s in software titles until at least 2995) and, well, what can you say about NT? XP? Doesn’t do much for me.

But this, this works.

Whether or not it’s good enough for me to spend money on it, well, we’ll see.

I received a certified letter two weeks ago informing me that my number had been pulled for jury duty in village court on Monday the 23rd. Nothing big, I figured, it’s local stuff, hardly sees anything more than misdimeanor offenses. Work is cool about these things, so I got the day off and headed to perform my civic duty.

I show up about 20 minutes early (9:10 AM or so) and sign in. It’s worth noting that the village court in this case is in a small strip mall off one of the main drags here in town. It’s ridiculous. We wait around, and the clerk finally brings around paperwork for us to fill out in order to be compensated for our service. We fill it out, we hand it in, we wait.

About 2 hours later, we get called into the selection room and against all odds, I get selected. I guess I look normal or something. So back into the waiting room, and we wait a bit more. It must be around 12:40 PM by this point. Around 1 PM we’re ushered into the courtroom, and the opening statements are made, shortly after which the defendant requests a recess. We file back into the waiting room. And we wait.

And finally around 2:30 PM or so, we get a note from the judge saying that a plea bargain had been entered, and we were excused from duty. So it was a lovely waste of a day, but it did let me get some laundry done. Hooray for jury duty!

So disgusted right now. Maybe I should have stayed a Tigers fan.

So I’m working on this series of stick figures for the ars.linux crew. This is mine, as you might expect. Witness the glory of the brow ridge. Feel the intensity of the killer’s smile. FEAR THE SHOVEL. I’m working my way through the rest of the crew, but it’s going to take me a while. So if you have suggestions for how they can be done, feel free to comment and let me know. Some people are easier than others.

Yes, it’s that dreaded day. The birthday. Just another checkpoint on your long, slow march to the grave.

I suppose it’s not too bad. I’ve got a copy of Onimusha 3 now, and a few leftover dollars to pick up Samurai Warriors for the XBox when it comes out. It’ll be my first Koei game for the XBox, but from what I’ve seen the graphics are a lot better than the PS2 versions, and I’m just an addict for these games.

But anyhow . . . just another day at work for me, I guess. Sara doesn’t understand why I don’t take off on my birthdays, but they’re just not that special to me. Sometimes I wish they were.

This is from a recent book I’ve read, I believe it was Warriors of God by James Reston.

I commend you to God Almighty. He is the source of all good. Do the will of God, for that is the way of peace. Beware of bloodshed. Trust not in that, for spilt blood never sleeps. Seek to gain the hearts of thy subjects, and watch over all their interests, for thou art only appointed by God and by me to look after their good. Endeavor to gain the hearts of thy emirs, they ministers, and thy nobles. I have become great as I am because I have won the heart of my people by gentleness and kindness. Never nourish ill feeling against any man, for death spares none. Be prudent in thy dealings with other men, for God will not pardon unless they forgive you. But as to that which is between God and thyself, He will pardon the penitent, for He is gracious.

–a letter from Salah ad-Din (Saladin) to his son, el-Melik ez-Zaher

Yes, Jorge, I am indeed shackled by the bonds of matrimony or somesuch. Turns out it went pretty well, aside from a couple of quick blunders:

• I am a friggin’ moron. And I quote: “With this wing. . .” I mean, seriously. What the hell?
• Your younger second cousins will untie the strings holding the rings on the pillows.

So other than that, everything was pretty wonderful. Sara looked amazing, and fat men are meant to wear tuxedos, so I was in good shape. Pictures are here. Speaking of…

Step Away From The Buffet, Chowzilla
Sara and I spent our honeymoon week in the Bahamas, at the Atlantis resort. It was friggin’ amazing, and well worth the exorbitant sum that we wheedled out of my parents for the trip.

The main thing I noticed is the buffet culture there - don’t get me wrong, I’m a fat guy. But in my defense (shut up, philmes) it’s fat brought on by being huge and muscular and then getting a desk job and letting it all go to shit. Muscle turns into fat faster than women turn lesbian around schweeb. But I digress - the point is that the meal plan we were on was called the “modified American” and consisted of all the buffet/deli places at the resort. Three large buffets, one sports bar/grill deal, and a couple of ala carte places. All amazing, but a little disturbing.

Now, I can’t preach, really. I’m heavy set and I love my food. Willpower? hahaha. But some of the land-whales I saw gorging themselves on slabs of stewed pork and waffles coated in bacon were amazing. I don’t mean to be cruel, but when even I’m thinking Jesus Christ, chowmonster, put down the sausage links and walk back to your room about three hundred times, you have a PROBLEM.

I think I’m going to go eat something whole wheat and do about a million pushups just to try to get myself on a different level than the gasping lard-monsters I saw in those buffets. Christ.

Perhaps I Should Clarify

I’m not unemployed - just facing a pay cut and other issues. I’ve had a few people express their condolences - which are always appreciated - but I just want to have them for the right reasons, that’s all.

Looking for work

Well, I received the Letter of Death today. So despite reporting some profits for the last quarter, IBM is choosing to slash rates paid to contractors by 5%, and yours truly is eating the loss.

Now, I understand that the market isn’t what it used to be, but at the same time, we’ve lost two people from our desk and are being told that there isn’t enough budget to replace them. The SLA’s are hurting, and moreover, so are we. Going from 40 calls in a day to over 70 isn’t something you adjust to overnight.

So let’s see - gas prices keep going up, my wages are going down, and despite being paid 5 percent less per pay period, my bosses have so far been unreceptive to my offers to take 5 percent less calls, delete 5 percent of incoming emails, or just take 2 extra hours off every week.

Some people have no vision.

The long and short of it is this, I suppose: I’m very loyal. Some people say stupidly so. But part of loyalty is loyalty to self, and the part of me that is loyal to myself will not stand for this shit. The IBMers on the team received their regular raises and bonuses, and the contractors didn’t get shit.

Fuck this loyalty stuff, man, I gotsta get paid.

Holla, dolla dolla bill y’all.

So I’m riding in the car with my beloved sweetheart and our friend Chris, and we’re being silly. The conversation goes as follows:

Me (being silly): “Aw yeah, I am all that and and bag of chips.”

Sara (destroying me): “Ha ha, judging by that stomach, honey, you’re all that and you ate the bag of chips.”

OMG SO CRUEL. ;_;