Why is it that people who have not bothered to acknowledge my existance for years at the office all of a sudden seem to think that the best time to smile and wave at me is when I’m carrying about 80 pounds worth of printer?
A suggestion today.
If the process of cleaning your keyboard results in my having a cleaning wipe which looks like the following:
It may be time for you to develop more effective personal habits, specifically in terms of cleanliness.
I’m in the middle of rolling out a new desktop for an intern when a coworker walks by, and my genial nature being what it is, I make a little small talk as they’re passing. This apparently is overheard in one of the offices because a door pops open and a head pops out.
“Oh. Hi Matt.”
“Er, hi?”
“I thought you were Ray (Fernandez).”
“Oh, nope. Bigger. Whiter.”
Reaction: priceless.
Quite the day. I was stopped no less than six times on my way to the cafeteria. A few nominally reasonable questions as we have some conferences coming up in the building, but a lot of pablum as well. After finally making my way to the microwave to heat up my food, I pop over to get some ice for my soda and turn around to someone blocking my way back to the microwave.
He proceeds to drone on about several questions I would consider to be pretty tedious. My patience at this point is waning to nearly nothing. Finally, I break in after doing mental calculations on whether or not it will be worth it, and realizing that he’s in no position in the company to cause me any grief:
“Todd, question for you.”
“Yeah?”
“Do you remember those nature specials, like Wild Kingdom?”
“Yeah?”
“And do you remember what generally happened if something got between an animal and his food?”
“Yea-oh.”
“Right. Email me on the rest. Food now. Eat.”
“Oh… OK.”
ARRR UM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM
Slow day, boombox, Justin Timberlake CD. The premise is bad enough. And then people start dancing.
Luckily, I was able to fire off a suitably damning one-liner to crush all souls.
“Ed, I hate to say this, but you couldn’t bring sexy back if you had a gift receipt.”
Booyah.
So I’m stuck down in Washington D.C. doing work for a conference my company does, and it’s basically 14-hour days of running around doing everything for everyone and none of it relating to what I actually do for a living.
Food is good, but whatever.
Nothing much else happening (that I’m able to be aware of) and I’ll be back in New York on Saturday night. Have fun, kids.
